Big Smile

:)

Last night when I was in bed, I was thinking of a very wonderful song that would best express what I feel right now. I even planned to write the lyrics here, but surprisingly, somebody wrote it already for me. Hahaha. I can't believe that somebody was thinking of that song as well. It now came in to my mind that maybe, just maybe, though we don't have the communication our senses still communicate and that we still have these perceptions talking unconsciously. Hahahaha!. Sounds weird. No, that's not real! But I was just so amazed with the idea of having the same music in our mind. Seriously I was so shocked when I noticed he wrote that song as well. I have no idea. I was planning to surprise him a song number, that very same song he had. Too bad I can't sing a song anymore for him today. hehehe :) I'll just stick to the Barbie song then for now until I think of something better :)

[FYI, nothing changes, && I still smile when I think of you.. I am holding on, waiting patiently]

Crazy Idea

Just got home from the thanks giving/birthday party:) And the food was totally amazing. Hahaha. The celebrant is the son of my mother's colleague & family friend, who just graduated from his bachelor's degree in secondary education major in biology. The son along his legal age, turns out to be soooo single and he is being pressured by the people around him. What's astonishing is that there is this one of the guest, and actually a friend of mom's, who keeps on bubbling to some other guests. Along there busy talks, she even talked to the mother of the celebrant together with my mother and the rest of the gang, and with no idea, they have been pairing me to the celebrant the whole time. They have this idea that I could be the perfect pair for the boy, because they think I'm a good girl, pretty and smart. OMG. that is soo crazy. hahaha. I just smiled and laugh! That's impossible for now. I already have my own thoughts and own feelings, and at this moment, I have a very sure feeling for some one :) I just don't know why this some one, or what I saw on him, but it's him. hahaha. for now. (though he is far, far literally and from reality) I don't know what lies ahead and what's the plan of God. Basta, I'm committing everything into His hands. I don't think much about it though because I'm still too young.

Along the way, I was just wondering, what will I become after four years. Will I ever earn a degree? Will I ever be a licensed psychologist, or CPA? ahaha, I can't believe I'm saying this. I am not so sure for now about what to do for the next semester, all I know is that I want to Honor God, serve Him, and bring glory to His name. And as always, I wanna make my mom happy and proud of me=) love her so much :)

Ang Kalungkutan

ANG KALUNGKUTAN bow!!

Ang kalungkutan ay parang . . . .

Asong walang amo,

Kabayong walang damo,

Dinuguan na walang puto,

Ulo na walang kuto,

Zesto na walang straw,

Parang tinolang walang sabaw,

Babaeng walang dalaw

Bahay na walang ilaw

Magsasakang walang kalabaw

at

Ako pag walang IKAW :)

[hahahaha, nice try]

Affected

I really am upset. I hate it so much when people talk behind my back, and then they will start accusing me about things which I didn't made. Ok I admit I made a mistake, but for real, I didn't wanted these things to happen, and weather they will believe me or not, it had not been easy for me to deal with this. I could not believe they could do these, they are my friends, or shall I say they were! Urrrghh :(( I don't usually react this much in situations like this, and I don't even get affected, but this is way different because those people who accused me are close to my heart! Ok, I give up, I know I am a big failure, but I can't help it because I'm just a human being. I am not perfect, and I just can't. I am badly hurt! I will just keep on praying for them, (that's the most wise respond in my mind for now) I wish they will stop doing it to me because the more they do, the more it hurts. They don't really have to slam it in my face and tell me that I am a big mistake in this world. =((

I want a total reformat of my brain, I want to erase all my memories and all the people who hurt me. EVERYONE! :((

nahhhhh =((

Two Voices, One Song

Remember the song I told you the last time we talked? hahaha, here, I don't know how to post videos so I hope this one works :)) Gikan sa barbie nga movie bah! Mga girls gnahan biya ug barbie, mga baby girls, and I know your one of 'em :)) haha.lol. super super u u u u

Week End

Woaah, it's almost a week since 'you know' :( but I thank God because I know am getting stronger each day, certainly it's because of God's grace and blessings =)

Iv'e been addicted to movies lately, and books :) hehe, sila akong "bestfriends" for now. I never go out of the house, unless I go to church for fellowships! And the youth fellowship last Saturday was amazing. SALAMAT LORD! :) By the way, I have this book that I have been reading for days now, and I am really fascinated by the main character of the story, I admired him so much because of his courage. But it was just in the middle part when I'm almost done reading that I discovered his name, hahah, ug sadihang Santiago.. I was really laughing tremendously, because out of millions of names, kato pjd, hahaha. Ohhhhkay, my week end went fine, I spent most of it at the church, and meetings with the youth. It was really fantastic, except for the fact that I miss my friend so much. I am so thankful because my friend is blogging already hahahah, at least I will have the idea of anything that's going on with my friend's life. [modern npod kah, I seriously hope you will keep on blogging because this can be tiring sometimes, you don't have to write everyday, you can have it once a week :) hehehe!]

Loaded Day

Today's officially the second or third day, hahah! I lost count. Told you, I'm not good at math! Well, I started my day by waking up 7:30 a.m., then I prepared some mayo & tuna for breakfast! haha! My sandwhich isn't that delicious but it's quite acceptable! (matulon ra pd biya) I rushed for school cause I have to meet my 'gaw' (Pabe) there! My mama played a movie early in the morning, and guess what, I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY is the title (ug sadihang ka relate ko) hahaha! emo (/^). Back to the story, I met 'gaw' at the school at around 9:30 am, then we did out thing! (I can't write the details anymore because it was sooo tiring jod, grabehh to nga lakaw)... Afterwards we headed to Gaisano to feed our growling stomachs, haha =)) She told me that she has to get her F.D. from Kate so I decided to come with her because Kate's house is just a walking distance from Gaisano. Along the way I was really suffering because the sun was just sooooo hot! (i miss my sun sim) Well at Kate's place the three of us enjoyed, I bought some DVD's so we had a movie marathon. We ate bunch of foods and we talked about a lot of stuffs. (as usual) And I was sooo thankful to both of them because they've been a help for me not to be S A D!

Despite of that loaded day, never was there a moment that my friends name slipped away from my mind=( That's how special my friend is to me. Oh, I'm still gonna figure out the next coming days on how to escape from this sadness. hahaha! asss in jud.. Maybe I'll read and read, more on Paulo Coelho's THE ALCHEMIST, or watch a lot of movies, I already made a list. hahaha :D And forgive me, I might not be able to write in here tomorrow and for the next coming days, because my PC isn't cooperating so well. i think the monitor's broken (like my heart) hahaha. jokesss!, & I still need a replacement because i'm not comfortable using this anymore :(( oh no, not until I found some money! hahah, geh lng, madato lang ko!! hahah! =)) lol.

I love my God so much :) Salamat Lord for giving me my family, my friends, these things, and "you know who" .. weee :)

miss u superr :((

I wonder

This is totally insane! I didn't know apil pod diay siya sa rule, i thought this is just for me and myself ! How could this be possible ? And who warned my friend? haha! ooohhkay, amazing, so i can't ask my friend anymore to leave comments on my blog posts, and profiles.. That's ok though! as what the movie said, "time is meaningless when your inlove" but i'm not saying i am. hahah! OMG! hahah., Iv'e been addicted to movies this past days, because I've got nothing else to do. I am getting excited about my life, i don't know what are the things God has in store for me! Just like what Jeremiah 29:11 said, For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I am so thankful to the Lord in everything, in every single detail of my life. And I love HIM more than anything else :) I am so sure of that!

Quite Not Good (1st day) II

mingaaaaaaaaaaaaaw na kaayo ko niya.. =)

Do you know, wala pa nag 24hours from the time we started the cut off :) but i'm dying. hehe. seriously, i miss my friend so much! Good thing I find a way to somehow escape my mind from thinking too much about it. I attended the sports fest, I watched basketball, and cheer a little to our team. And gheeez, I saw my favorite basketball player, who is so A M A Z I N G. He played so well, he scored a lot of points, and they were the champion. No wonder he's my favorite! hahaha. Pero actually, I can't help from thinking how my friend is doing. I seriously hope my friend's first day went fine :) That's all for now.. Byeeee =))

Quite Not Good (1st day)

Today is the beginning of my torment. hahah! Ok, uhm, here's the story! There is this special friend of mine, who used to be so close to me, but our closeness is twined with a lot of complications and issues, so in order to be a blessing to the people around us, I decided to ...distance from this friend for six straight months, with NO communication and what so ever at all. I know this sounds crazy, but my friend and I see it also as a challenge and a test to prove the quality of our friendship:] I know for sure, I'm gonna be definitely sad, and I already am now. However, I thought to frequently write something here in the span of six months about every thing that had happened, and is happening to me, hoping that my friend might be able to read this. Through that, my friend will have an update of what am I being like while I was away :) And, sad to say, Day 1 starts today! Actually I thought that it might be better if you'll just wake me up when September ends =( but sad to say, that's not possible.

I Remember The Days

While I was busy looking at the pictures posted by my friends, and writing comments all over, I happen to read my old messages hidden in my fs account. It was mixed emotion that I felt while I was going over the mails, I see the notes of some of my old friends, some remained, some did not. I see a note of an old lover, ahahaha, (not quite the term). I read some of the mail arguments i had. But the most amazing part, is that, the words seem so real to me. It makes me reminisce about the past, and it makes me think of all the times and decisions I made. It dawned on me, "would it be the same if i did this before?" and the questions of "what if....s" keeps on lingering. I remember the exact feeling I had the first time I read those mails. It's funny how these things turned out to be. One thing is for sure, I didn't have any regrets on what I had before, and what I have been through, all has a great part and role on developing my character, and what I am right now! When you look back at the times you laugh, you will cry, when you look back at the times you cried, you will laugh. Such a cliche :D

Earl's 18th Birthday

I just got home, from my super friend, Earl Maye Herbito's debut. I had so much fun, it was like a high school reunion, bunch of high school buddies were there, including our sophomore favorite class adviser, Mrs. Honey Ritzel Barillio, and we consider her as our "mama"!

I like the music, the band, the "vocaler" (a term just for fun according to Amy), hahah, who has an amazing voice! Wow, the band's lead vocalist is a girl and she really is A M A Z I N G!! hehe. well, not to mention Didat, who sang as well, and we can't all deny her angelic golden voice! Superb. Everything was so wonderful, the cotillion dancers, the hair of the glamorous girls, make ups, dresses, sandals, everything else. And alas, i saw some one out there unexpected. (but it's not important though) The eighteen roses (referring to the boys) were really manly with there coat and tie! And, oh, I almost forgot, my favorite part in this whole event, the F O O D. haha, the food was really mouth watering, i love the cake, everything! I guess it's every body's favorite!

Everything was perfect, except for this unanticipated part, there is this "good looking" MC of the night, and, unluckily i don't know his name, but he really is a cute and charming licensed nurse, and a comlaude graduate in MSU (main), who went nuts (hahaha), and picked out someone from the eighteen candles to be his co-host! The crowd were uproaring my name (the high school buddies specifically, but they occupy the crowd though) . I didn't had the way to run out, so I stood up, walk up straight, and joined him at the center. I was awfully clueless of what I'm gonna do, he asked me questions, and he gave me instructions, then ALAS! my hosting career just started! hahaha! That was quite embarassing because everything was unrehearsed. It was totally an impromptu!

We'll, the night ended with a lot of dancing on the floor. It was like a fire burning on the dance floor. hahaha :)) I saw the groovy moves of my girl friends, they were totally insane, but i love them so much. They looked like, uhm, i don't know what they looked like when they hit the spot light! Well I had a dance with Sheen, and for every one's information, he was my first dance at the senior's night way back in high school. I love him as well (i seriously hope he'll grow out of being a gay) hahaha. But i believe, way way way deep inside him, he is a real man! hahaha.And by the way, I would like to say thanks my sister, Aiko, who sent me back home, safe and sound. love u sisterhood! :) kuya pod, for driving us! haha. And to every one else, i super thank you. V.V, PROJECTILE, hahah. for being there, for the fun, laughters, picture² and for our "ulitawo" high school classmates! :D hehe. you guys are one of the best :)

Now, I end up thinking about this one of the unforgettable memories with my super friends, and of course the debutant, Earl May. I love her always, just like what I told her earlier this evening on her party while I was holding a piece of a candle. I know she'l always leave a special room in my heart, no matter what! =)